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Pills and Nasal Spray
For the next 5 days I have to take the pills twice a day and buserelin nasal spray every 4 hours. The spray stimulates the pituitary gland and decreases the secretion of follicle stimulating hormone. It leaves a nasty taste in the back of the mouth. They prescribe this so they can control exactly when my follicles are stimulated, rather than letting my body do this naturally. |
infertility
Sunday, 16 September 2012
Treatment Day 3
Saturday, 15 September 2012
Treatment day 2.
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| The easy part |
For 7 days (September 14 - 20) I have to take tablets of Norethisterone.
This is a hormone replicant, used to control exactly when my period will start. Which should happen shortly after I stop taking it.
It isn't likely to have any significant side effects, though sleeplessness is a possibility. I haven't been sleeping very well ... but I expect that is just anxiety and not the medication!
Friday, 14 September 2012
Treatment Day 1 - long, sorry!
Well, what a difference a week makes.
After a rather low weekend, we returned home a day earlier than planned so we could get on the phone quickly to BCRM and sort out the mess.
Jon rang them while I sat feeling quite sick with stress upstairs. They said they had no appointments until September 28th. Simply too late to be workable. But good old Jon kept them on the phone and eventually was offered an appointment with an alternative doctor (as if we care!) the following day (Tuesday). Phew #1.
So far, so good, but we have learned never to expect much, so went in highly strung and anxious. We were seen, had blood test results and sperm analysis reviewed, internal scan for me, and told we were eligible for treatment. Phew #2. (Actually, Jon's sperm quality had increased quite a bit. Which is interesting. And means we go for IVF not ICSI. But thankfully that news doesn't affect anything, we are already approved for NHS funding of treatment by IVF Wales - it was just a question of ensuring BCRM could treat us, according to their rules.)
Bad news, we were told there was absolutely no way we'd be through by October 11th, when Jon was due to leave the country. Freezing sperm costs £500 and they seemed to want to discourage us from doing this. So, we planned for Jon to return to the UK some time in November (probably) to do his 'bit'.
The next step was to arrange an appointment with the nurse to go over minutiae of treatment. We organised this with reception for a week later. But on driving home, my mobile rang and the clinic said that was actually impossible. Next available date the 25th. Again, heart sunk. But again, kept them on the phone a bit and was offered an appointment for the next day (September 12th). Phew #3.
Back in the next day, and a lovely nurse called Carrie explained everything we will need to go through. She then checked where I was at with my cycle and suggested we start in two days (today). Treatment needs to begin on day 19 of the menstrual cycle. We could hardly believe it. After nearly 2 years on a waiting list in Cardiff, we were up and running in less than a week of our first appointment in Bristol. Phew #4.
Jon will have to delay his start in Canada, meaning some lost salary. But that doesn't matter. His professor is understanding about all this. Phew #5. And overall, a fortnight delay is a much better solution than Jon leaving me here to start things on my own and then flying back 1 month into a new job.
A medical courier dropped off my pack this morning, full of pills, syringes, nasal spray etc. I started today with the pill. More details on all that later.
But, we're off! Finally. Hurray! IVF at this clinic has a 42% success rate. Fingers crossed.
After a rather low weekend, we returned home a day earlier than planned so we could get on the phone quickly to BCRM and sort out the mess.
Jon rang them while I sat feeling quite sick with stress upstairs. They said they had no appointments until September 28th. Simply too late to be workable. But good old Jon kept them on the phone and eventually was offered an appointment with an alternative doctor (as if we care!) the following day (Tuesday). Phew #1.
So far, so good, but we have learned never to expect much, so went in highly strung and anxious. We were seen, had blood test results and sperm analysis reviewed, internal scan for me, and told we were eligible for treatment. Phew #2. (Actually, Jon's sperm quality had increased quite a bit. Which is interesting. And means we go for IVF not ICSI. But thankfully that news doesn't affect anything, we are already approved for NHS funding of treatment by IVF Wales - it was just a question of ensuring BCRM could treat us, according to their rules.)
Bad news, we were told there was absolutely no way we'd be through by October 11th, when Jon was due to leave the country. Freezing sperm costs £500 and they seemed to want to discourage us from doing this. So, we planned for Jon to return to the UK some time in November (probably) to do his 'bit'.
The next step was to arrange an appointment with the nurse to go over minutiae of treatment. We organised this with reception for a week later. But on driving home, my mobile rang and the clinic said that was actually impossible. Next available date the 25th. Again, heart sunk. But again, kept them on the phone a bit and was offered an appointment for the next day (September 12th). Phew #3.
Back in the next day, and a lovely nurse called Carrie explained everything we will need to go through. She then checked where I was at with my cycle and suggested we start in two days (today). Treatment needs to begin on day 19 of the menstrual cycle. We could hardly believe it. After nearly 2 years on a waiting list in Cardiff, we were up and running in less than a week of our first appointment in Bristol. Phew #4.
Jon will have to delay his start in Canada, meaning some lost salary. But that doesn't matter. His professor is understanding about all this. Phew #5. And overall, a fortnight delay is a much better solution than Jon leaving me here to start things on my own and then flying back 1 month into a new job.
A medical courier dropped off my pack this morning, full of pills, syringes, nasal spray etc. I started today with the pill. More details on all that later.
But, we're off! Finally. Hurray! IVF at this clinic has a 42% success rate. Fingers crossed.
Monday, 10 September 2012
News
Thought you all might be interested in this article, which refers to our situation and why we have been transferred to Bristol from Wales for treatment.
I suspect there may be some political bias in it but the fact that the waiting lists have become 'huge' is certainly right!
Just glad we live so close to the border and aren't hit with massive journey complications.
I suspect there may be some political bias in it but the fact that the waiting lists have become 'huge' is certainly right!
Just glad we live so close to the border and aren't hit with massive journey complications.
Friday, 7 September 2012
Down in the dumps. +21.5 months.
I am sitting here in the early hours worrying because our appointment for September 12th has fallen through.
Originally, BCRM had our initial consultation scheduled for the 29th August. And then that was postponed to September 7th. Which was a really difficult day for me, work-wise, so we phoned and arranged to move it to the 12th.
Evidently something went wrong: I missed a call from the consultant during the day yesterday, due to that busy work stuff (they never phoned our landline, which Jon would have answered.) I picked it up after hours and, in short, she still had an hour scheduled in for us on the 7th and has no space to see us on the 12th.
We can't speak to them now until Monday (10th).
The cumulative effect of all these cancellations and postponements is getting me down.
We try hard to keep on going with life, enjoying what it has to offer, regardless of what's happening with fertility stuff, trusting things will work out. We have put a lot of effort into letter writing, phone calls etc to ensure we've done everything possible to make this work. And every time we approach the finishing line or some positive news, the carpet gets pulled from under us.
Life has been partially in limbo for so long: it's almost 3 years since we started trying to conceive and not far off 2 since going on the waiting list for treatment. If someone said to me "Right, sorry, that's it, this isn't going to happen" I could move on and readjust. But there is no resolution like that. And there's nothing I can do to get off the treadmill.
And I'm about to be separated from Jon for possibly a year, as a result of all this stuff, and he's the main thing I depend on to stay sane. Aaaaaaargh!
Originally, BCRM had our initial consultation scheduled for the 29th August. And then that was postponed to September 7th. Which was a really difficult day for me, work-wise, so we phoned and arranged to move it to the 12th.
Evidently something went wrong: I missed a call from the consultant during the day yesterday, due to that busy work stuff (they never phoned our landline, which Jon would have answered.) I picked it up after hours and, in short, she still had an hour scheduled in for us on the 7th and has no space to see us on the 12th.
We can't speak to them now until Monday (10th).
The cumulative effect of all these cancellations and postponements is getting me down.
We try hard to keep on going with life, enjoying what it has to offer, regardless of what's happening with fertility stuff, trusting things will work out. We have put a lot of effort into letter writing, phone calls etc to ensure we've done everything possible to make this work. And every time we approach the finishing line or some positive news, the carpet gets pulled from under us.
Life has been partially in limbo for so long: it's almost 3 years since we started trying to conceive and not far off 2 since going on the waiting list for treatment. If someone said to me "Right, sorry, that's it, this isn't going to happen" I could move on and readjust. But there is no resolution like that. And there's nothing I can do to get off the treadmill.
And I'm about to be separated from Jon for possibly a year, as a result of all this stuff, and he's the main thing I depend on to stay sane. Aaaaaaargh!
Tuesday, 28 August 2012
A bit of a tiswas. + 21 months
Our appointment at Bristol has been postponed and will be on September 12th. (Originally August 29th).
For reasons explained in earlier posts, we don't take too well to delays and postponements any more. But, on the positive side, this means I should arrive at the clinic at a more useful time of the monthly joy cycle; and a rather stressful task at work will be done and dusted. So, it is probably a good thing to wait a few days longer. And we still hold out hope that the rumous of no waiting list are actually true, and so once we get in on the 12th we won't have to hang around for long until we're up and running. (Assuming they will treat us, of course).
The added spanner for the works is that Jon will be moving to Canada in early October. I have known about this for a while but now it's more or less certain so I can mention it.
We really hope to get through treatment before he leaves. But, let's face it, that's very unlikely. If not, it's not a problem from a medical perspective. They can freeze the sperm for use later.
So, I'm staying here to ensure we get through treatment and to be around the clinic until we know any pregnancy is progressing alright. Once I've waited until 13 weeks, I may as well hang no a bit longer until I can take maternity leave from work (I love my job and this is a good way not to leave it!) And if I don't conceive or I miscarry, we'll have to decide whether I stay behind for even longer to give things a second go.
Not sure how I will manage going through this shiz on my own. Or how either of us will cope with being apart in general. But I have some nice friends to move in with.
Seems rather incredible that we are going to such lengths for something we're not 100% sure we even want...... the biological impulse I guess. And an almighty fight to ensure two years on a waiting list are not wasted.
As I said to my friend Jenni, it's not ideal. But I think we left ideal behind a little while ago. And, anyway, whoever said life should be ideal?!
For reasons explained in earlier posts, we don't take too well to delays and postponements any more. But, on the positive side, this means I should arrive at the clinic at a more useful time of the monthly joy cycle; and a rather stressful task at work will be done and dusted. So, it is probably a good thing to wait a few days longer. And we still hold out hope that the rumous of no waiting list are actually true, and so once we get in on the 12th we won't have to hang around for long until we're up and running. (Assuming they will treat us, of course).
The added spanner for the works is that Jon will be moving to Canada in early October. I have known about this for a while but now it's more or less certain so I can mention it.
We really hope to get through treatment before he leaves. But, let's face it, that's very unlikely. If not, it's not a problem from a medical perspective. They can freeze the sperm for use later.
So, I'm staying here to ensure we get through treatment and to be around the clinic until we know any pregnancy is progressing alright. Once I've waited until 13 weeks, I may as well hang no a bit longer until I can take maternity leave from work (I love my job and this is a good way not to leave it!) And if I don't conceive or I miscarry, we'll have to decide whether I stay behind for even longer to give things a second go.
Not sure how I will manage going through this shiz on my own. Or how either of us will cope with being apart in general. But I have some nice friends to move in with.
Seems rather incredible that we are going to such lengths for something we're not 100% sure we even want...... the biological impulse I guess. And an almighty fight to ensure two years on a waiting list are not wasted.
As I said to my friend Jenni, it's not ideal. But I think we left ideal behind a little while ago. And, anyway, whoever said life should be ideal?!
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Not my children. +20.5 months
We have been transferred to Bristol, where there is no waiting list, but have to get through the preliminary tests before we know (how) they will treat us.
I don't think every clinic has the same criteria for treating couples, let alone giving them ICSI, so we wait for our initial appointment to see what will happen.
In the meantime, I resist any suggestion that we deserve or have a right to children, or are suffering anything out of the ordinary. This is not the case. A wise lady I know shared the following, from Gibran's The Prophet, with me. Whatever the future holds, I hope I can continue to believe this to be true.
"Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams,
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
I don't think every clinic has the same criteria for treating couples, let alone giving them ICSI, so we wait for our initial appointment to see what will happen.
In the meantime, I resist any suggestion that we deserve or have a right to children, or are suffering anything out of the ordinary. This is not the case. A wise lady I know shared the following, from Gibran's The Prophet, with me. Whatever the future holds, I hope I can continue to believe this to be true.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams,
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
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