Treatment Day 22

Injections and nasal spray #3

So, I am getting on pretty well with the old stabbing myself. I was a bit shaky on the first day, mainly because of all the paraphernalia you have to get your head around before doing the deed.

But if you get the thing angled right, you barely feel it. I got it a bit wrong the second time and did feel a little prick but the other two occasions there was no sensation at all. It's just very counter-intuitive to stick a needle into one's own flesh and leaves me feeling a bit wobbly.

(Reading that back, I realise how wrong it all sounds?!)

How to stab yourself DVD

I had a bit of a panic when I realised I was meant to be doing the injections in the evening and had started a schedule of doing it when I woke up. But the nurses said it doesn't matter and just to change to the evening, which I have done today.

Also had a bit of a mental mood swing yesterday over a lost DVD (!) I was really, really angry about it and wouldn't go to bed. This may be partly to do with the medication but probably more tiredness and the fact our house has been a tip for the last fortnight. We move tomorrow. Hurrah!

I thought I'd show you the various bits of the kit I have one by one. First picture is of the instruction DVD, which takes me through step by step how to do the injection. I've watched it twice and won't need it again.

Treatment day 19

Spray only #12

I had my blood test yesterday and it showed, as expected, that the 'down regulating' nasal spray is working fine. My oestridal levels are low and ovaries calm. (Usually they are so giddy!)

It was the first time on visiting BCRM that they were running late. I saw the nurse about 40 minutes after my appointment time and had arrived half an hour early, so all in all spent quite a while in the waiting room. It's when things like this happen that I realise I'm under quite a lot of underlying stress: there have been so many delays and we are now so dependent on everything running like clockwork that the delay left me a nervous wreck!

Anyway, as I say all was clear. Which means I can start the injections as intended tomorrow. Eeeek. Hope that goes okay.

Still no side effects of note. I think my body temperature is a bit wacky but nothing unbearable. Slightly odd discharge (say no more - there are men reading.) And I did have a complete flip out over something yesterday evening that may or may not otherwise have led to tears..... but Jon copes admirably. Carry on Campers!

Treatment Day 14. + 22 months.

Spray only #7

I was 34 yesterday. It's 3 years since we stopped using contraception (which is a much more accurate way of putting it than 'started trying to have a baby'.)

It doesn't sound like a long time. But it feels like it!

At the clinic they kept referring to how they were going to approach treatment in this, that and the other way 'because I am so young'. But then they refer to you as an old patient if you're above 35.

I guess, as with life, the happy middle doesn't last for long!

Still fairly weary and my skin is in poor condition. But otherwise, no mental mood swings or hot flushes yet. Some lovely Chepstow friends from round the corner dropped in a big block of Dairy Milk yesterday. Which helps!

Treatment Day 12

Spray only #5

My period started on cue, 3 days after stopping with the pills. Which is all good, things going to plan.

A major downside is that the clinic asked me not to take my prescription painkillers for period pain. So I've had a pretty bad couple of days. I had forgotten how bad the discomfort could get and spent quite a bit of last night on the bathroom floor in a foetal position. But I should be through it now.

Incidentally, they also said to avoid Ibuprofen which apparently is really bad for pregnancy. It prevents embryo implantation and can increase risk of miscarriage. Gosh. Who knew?

No side effects of the spray yet but I have to keep going with it alone until October 3rd. Jon is really nervous that I'm about to go mental...... ; )

Treatment Day 7

Pills and Nasal Spray#5 Last day of this part of the regime. Side effects most likely to kick in from tomorrow. I realise I forgot to recount some of the details of us getting started. Remember all that stress caused by the phone call to say our appointment for the 7th hadn't been rearranged for the 12th? Well, it turns out that was kind of unfounded. But with hindsight, I'm glad we went through it.

Actually, we were still booked in for the 12th but nobody told the doctor who had us in her diary for the 7th. Hence her phone call. But the outcome was that we ended up getting in there 24 hours earlier. which meant we could see the nurse in the appointment slot for the 12th. And thus get started on the 14th.

Almost certainly we would never have been able to kick things off this month if we had in fact kept to the original appointment. We'd have saved ourselves a weekend of anxiety but gained another month of waiting. 

It's all very strange. I can't accept that these things are 'God-incidences'. But it's interesting and profound that at our lowest ebb, when we cried out to a few people for prayer and felt incredibly low about it all, it turned out that something very helpful was actually happening.

Treatment Day 6

Pills and Nasal Spray#4 I'm still finding it difficult to sleep. It's not too bad - I just get up and have a camomile tea and read for a while. But I hope it doesn't continue for the duration of treatment. I did manage to fall quite deeply asleep two nights ago but then was woken at about 1.30am by Jon nudging me and insisting one of us needed to take some medicine.

Gradually I came to and asked him what he was talking about. At which point he sat up, head in hands, and said "It's ok I think I was dreaming." And then fell back to sleep. Which I couldn't do, so I ended up going downstairs. Looking back, it was pretty funny!

I guess it must be weird for him, with me on a schedule of 2 pills and 6 nasal sprays at specific times of day. And looking ahead to injecting myself daily in a week or so. And all he can do is look on.

Treatment Day 4

Pills and Nasal Spray#2 So far so good. No discernible side effects. (Though these aren't expected until I stop taking the pills on Friday) It's slightly disconcerting that all the notes with the pills are about its use for breast cancer treatment, and those with the spray about its use for prostate cancer!

I do have a funny tight feeling in the back of my throat. And am very tired. But that's probably the lack of sleep! In general, I'm quite enjoying the novelty of all this medication.