Biggest stress thus far happened this month. Here is what happened:
On October 5, I get a letter saying my appointment for later in the month to discuss my HSG results has been put back to November 23. They always credit such things to 'unforeseen circumstances' which is worse than no explanation, to be honest. So, a couple of days later I call IVF Wales to ask 1) why this is and 2) where we're at with the ICSI waiting list, as we've been on it nearly a year now.
They seem perplexed at this claim, look at some paperwork and tell me that, no, we went on the list in May 2011 so we would get to the 1-year stage next May. And, in fact, the wait is one year to 18 months, so that could mean treatment starts any time between May 2012 and October 2012. My heart sinks into the carpet beneath me. Quietly, I challenge what has been said to me. But I fear Dr X never did put us on that list...... they go away to check, promising to ring back.
I am so upset. Not only do I hang all my sense of stability onto the few certain points in life at the moment - these appointments being crucial examples - but a delay until even May 2012 would leave us totally stuck if we have to move for Jon's work next summer. (The treatment takes a couple of months, I think.) Potentially, we'd have to leave Wales before we'd been seen and therefore go back to square one. It doesn't bear thinking about.
My heart is beating hard when they call back. Thankfully, it's to say they've decided we should be bumped up to position as if we'd been put on the list in November 2010. As we thought. (Except the wait could drag out until May.) What a relief. Makes me realise how much tension there still is beneath the surface of my life, that I react so badly to a thing like this.
Since then, there have been two more letters changing the date of my appointment. As of now, it's likely to happen on November 21. I'll keep you posted!
